How Do I Talk To My Doctor?
Especially on my first visit.
How Do I Talk To My Doctor?
Talking with your doctor can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re dealing with a cancer diagnosis. But good communication helps you feel more confident and in control of your care. It’s okay to ask questions, ask for things to be repeated, or say you don’t understand. You deserve to know what’s happening and why.
Before your appointments, it helps to write down your questions, bring someone with you, or even record the visit (with permission). Cancer GPS encourages you to speak up, be honest, and make sure you understand your care plan. You are your own best advocate.
Useful Links
FAQ
What should I ask at my first cancer appointment?
Start with the basics:
- What type of cancer do I have?
- What stage is it?
- What treatments are available?
- What are the side effects of each treatment?
- What is the goal of treatment—cure, control, or comfort? These questions help you understand your diagnosis and what to expect.
How do I make sure I really understand?
It’s okay to say, “Can you explain that in simpler terms?” or “I didn’t understand—can you go over that again?” Ask for written materials or diagrams. You can also repeat back what you heard to make sure it’s right. For example: “So you’re saying I’ll start chemo next week, and it will last three months?”
Can I record my visits?
Yes, but always ask first. Many doctors are fine with it. Recording helps you remember what was said, especially if you’re feeling anxious. You can also bring a trusted friend or family member to take notes and help ask questions.
How can I ask about tough topics like prognosis or fertility?
These are important questions. You can say:
- “Can you help me understand what this means for my future?”
- “Will treatment affect my ability to have children?” Doctors expect these questions and want to help you understand. You don’t have to ask everything at once—take your time.
What if I feel rushed?
Let your doctor know: “I still have questions and need a few more minutes.” If that’s not possible, ask to speak with a nurse navigator or schedule a follow-up visit. You deserve to feel heard and supported.
How can my caregiver be included?
Bring them to appointments, let them take notes, and encourage them to ask questions. They can help you remember details and provide emotional support. Some hospitals also offer caregiver support groups or resources.
Are there tools to help me remember my questions?
Yes! You can:
- Use a notebook or phone to write down questions before your visit.
- Use apps like MyChart to message your care team or track appointments.
- Use AskBernie to create a personalized list of questions based on your diagnosis and treatment plan.
How do I ask about clinical trials?
Just ask: “Are there any clinical trials I might qualify for?” Clinical trials can offer access to new treatments. You can also visit clinicaltrials.gov to search for studies. AskBernie can help you understand what trials mean and how to talk about them.
What if I don’t understand medical words?
Say, “Can you explain that in everyday language?” Doctors and nurses are used to this and want you to understand. You can also ask for printed materials or speak with a nurse navigator who can explain things more clearly.
How do I build a good relationship with my doctor?
Be honest about how you’re feeling—physically and emotionally. Ask questions, share concerns, and speak up if something doesn’t feel right. A good relationship is built on trust, respect, and open communication. You are part of the care team.
How AskBernie Helps
Feeling unsure about what to ask your doctor? AskBernie can help you:
- Create a list of questions based on your cancer type, treatment options, and personal concerns.
- Practice how to ask sensitive questions like prognosis, fertility, or financial worries.
- Understand medical terms and what they mean for your care.
- Navigate websites like clinicaltrials.gov to explore research studies.
- Prepare for appointments by helping you organize your thoughts and feel more confident.
AskBernie is like having a guide by your side—ready to help you speak up, understand your care, and feel more in control.
Help Support Cancer GPS
Cancer GPS is a 501(c)(3) organization, and your donations allow us to keep providing services to cancer patients and their families. Thank you for your continued support.